16 August 2016

Real World

"This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
― Marilyn Monroe

I've been on a pretty long hiatus from the digital world, probably the longest time I haven't blogged and been that involved with social media. I wanted to tell you a little about why I've been away because I know some of you have questions and I feel like I can finally tell you without getting upset whilst writing - even though this will still be a hard post to put out there. But as my readers, most of you who come back to this blog weekly and have known me for years, I feel like I need to share with you not just the peachy moments in life - but also what happens in the real world. Because there's no point painting a perfect picture when life is not perfect - that's a fact.

For the last couple of months I have been in a dark hole that my mind has made thanks to contributions from the outside world. I didn't help matters when I decided to take on the world on my own and soon found out that I simply cannot wrap my hands around the Earth and take control of everything. I overworked myself, I stressed myself out to the point where that stress soon enough turned itself into something darker and totally overwhelming, so I just had to let go and focus on my health and my life. I've spent days not being able to even get myself out of bed, I lost interest in everything including the things I loved doing most. I just wanted to lay in bed, in silence, and watch the world go by. I didn't even want to be rescued. 

It didn't help that for the 6 months I have been living alone, so it was easy to shut myself away from the world. I felt like I was on the wrong path to doing what I want to do in life, I didn't feel like my personal life was going well and I just lost the love I had for me.
To add to the already deep dark hole I was in, a couple of weeks ago my world came crashing down when I was faced with issues in my personal life, and my house flooded. On top of everything - my fucking house flooded the night my world came crashing down. If you cannot see the hilarity in this tragedy, well I guess maybe it's just me on my own! 

But, I'm not one to back down easily or ever give up so that night when shit hit the fan, I got ridiculously drunk, poured my heart out to my best friends and decided to stop being the victim. I've managed to hold up the 'fort' for such a long time on my own that I sure as hell wasn't going to give up now. I took some time off from everything, I drilled down to the problems that were making me feel this way and decided to eliminate them. I made a plan, and I gave myself time to action that plan - I won't fix myself overnight, but I feel a hell of a lot better already. 

I wanted to share this with you as I know I'm not the only person who is going through something like this, and I feel like mental health issues need to be spoken about more, because ultimately your mental health impacts your physical health and wellbeing. 

If you're feeling similar to this, I can share some ideas of how I'm pulling myself back into a happier, healthier place: 

- Surround yourself with positive people who care about you. I cannot thank my family and friends for the patience and time they have given me these past few weeks - all I had around me were people who genuinely cared about me and wanted me to get better.

- Spend time thinking about what is making you feel ill: is it your job, your relationship, your own expectations? Whatever it is, figure it out and make a plan to tackle it. Change your job, break away from toxic relationships (whether they're romantic or platonic), set yourself realistic goals. You won't feel better unless you find a way to stop the cycle that is making you ill.

- Give yourself a break. Just pack a bag, get in your car and have an adventure for a day. Eat ice cream by the beach, go on a hike in the mountains, do something that chills you out - away from people and social media. 

- Get professional help. There's nothing wrong or shameful about going to see a professional who will help you get better because sometimes we need to grab onto a hand that will pull us up to the surface. 

- Say FUCK IT to the world. Honestly, fuck it. Fuck every single little thing that had the audacity to pull you down. The moment you stop giving a fuck (kind of where I'm at now) and enjoy your life, you'll see things slowly start to fall into place. I'm a strong believer in 'what will be - will be' and I'm now learning the art of giving zero fucks about every insignificant thing that goes wrong.

I'm coming back guys - bear with me just that teeny bit longer if you can. I have already got some awesome content to bring you and I'm working on a rebrand (AHHHH!!!!) but I just wanted you to know I haven't disappeared and I'm not about to stop blogging, I just needed a little rehab time.

What is your one fail safe tip to help make you feel better when you're down? Share in the comments below! 




  1. Im sorry you have been going through such a difficult time! I missed you on my instagram, and stupidly I just thought it was the new algorithim not showing me your posts!!

    Sometimes its hard to tlk about mental health, I always find my blog a little bit of a life saver in that respect because i started it purely to make friends and get out of my depression I have always felt I can talk about it on there! Hope you are getting yourself better - you and your health are the most important things in the world

    Charlotte xx

    1. Thanks chic - aha the new algorithm sucks though!!

      Do you still feel like your blog helps you? I think it's so important to talk about mental health, especially on social, because some people still don't treat it like it's actually 'real'.

      I'm feeling much better now, thank you! :) You're 100% - your health is the most important thing!!!

      Lana xxx


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